I just finished reading this really great book on introverts. It's called Self Promotion For Introverts by Nancy Ancowitz. It's more related to the business world and how to work on yourself but there were some really great things I learned from it. The one that continues to come to me over and over again is one about receiving compliments. Here's the quote:
Refute Negative Self-Talk Instead Of Compliments
How do you respond to compliments? Do you deflect them or say that you don't really deserve them? You may be so used to minimizing compliments that you're not even aware that you're doing it. By denying a compliment, you are not only putting yourself down but you're also slighting the person who offered it by doubting her judgement or suggesting that her standards aren't high. Instead why not graciously say, "Thank you"?
So often I don't think I'm good enough for compliments, they embarass me, I don't like the attention and b/c of my inner self dialogue I honestly don't believe most of them. This quote really got me thinking of how I'm affecting the other person by responding the way I do. It's kinda like saying thanks and then crumpling up their compliment and handing it back to them. I know I get mildly offended when someone doesn't take my sincere and heartfelt compliments, but I never thought about how my rejection affected others. I was too concerned with how I saw myself and what I thought about myself that it didn't even occur to me that I'd be hurting someone else's feelings by doing this.
I'm now trying to take an assertive role and genuinely accepting compliments when they are given to me. It's not just about someone wanting to make me feel better, raise my self-esteem and help lift my spirits but it's about not hurting that person in return. =)
Refute Negative Self-Talk Instead Of Compliments
How do you respond to compliments? Do you deflect them or say that you don't really deserve them? You may be so used to minimizing compliments that you're not even aware that you're doing it. By denying a compliment, you are not only putting yourself down but you're also slighting the person who offered it by doubting her judgement or suggesting that her standards aren't high. Instead why not graciously say, "Thank you"?
So often I don't think I'm good enough for compliments, they embarass me, I don't like the attention and b/c of my inner self dialogue I honestly don't believe most of them. This quote really got me thinking of how I'm affecting the other person by responding the way I do. It's kinda like saying thanks and then crumpling up their compliment and handing it back to them. I know I get mildly offended when someone doesn't take my sincere and heartfelt compliments, but I never thought about how my rejection affected others. I was too concerned with how I saw myself and what I thought about myself that it didn't even occur to me that I'd be hurting someone else's feelings by doing this.
I'm now trying to take an assertive role and genuinely accepting compliments when they are given to me. It's not just about someone wanting to make me feel better, raise my self-esteem and help lift my spirits but it's about not hurting that person in return. =)
