Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Compliments?

I just finished reading this really great book on introverts.  It's called Self Promotion For Introverts by Nancy Ancowitz.  It's more related to the business world and how to work on yourself but there were some really great things I learned from it.  The one that continues to come to me over and over again is one about receiving compliments.  Here's the quote:


Refute Negative Self-Talk Instead Of Compliments
How do you respond to compliments?  Do you deflect them or say that you don't really deserve them?  You may be so used to minimizing compliments that you're not even aware that you're doing it.  By denying a compliment, you are not only putting yourself down but you're also slighting the person who offered it by doubting her judgement or suggesting that her standards aren't high.  Instead why not graciously say, "Thank you"?

So often I don't think I'm good enough for compliments, they embarass me, I don't like the attention and b/c of my inner self dialogue I honestly don't believe most of them.  This quote really got me thinking of how I'm affecting the other person by responding the way I do.  It's kinda like saying thanks and then crumpling up their compliment and handing it back to them.  I know I get mildly offended when someone doesn't take my sincere and heartfelt compliments, but I never thought about how my rejection affected others.  I was too concerned with how I saw myself and what I thought about myself that it didn't even occur to me that I'd be hurting someone else's feelings by doing this.

I'm now trying to take an assertive role and genuinely accepting compliments when they are given to me.  It's not just about someone wanting to make me feel better, raise my self-esteem and help lift my spirits but it's about not hurting that person in return.  =)

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Happy Birthday Ruby!!

1:12pm today and my daughter would have been 6.  I really miss my little girl but I have so many fond memories of her.  She was born quickly after 4 hours of labour and 12 minutes of pushing (my babies come out quickly!! hehe).  I remember holding her for the first time and instantly falling in love with her.  She was doing that adorable little blinking she did, she never blinked quickly but had long blinks (here's a video of her ~ no sound ~ eating cheerios and you can see the long blinks she would do)

video

I had a few hours of fawning over here and saw these little bumps in her mouth and had our doctor look at her.  She had Teeth!!!! that were just bumps.  Her first night home she was in bed with us, my finger rubbing her gums, helping her toofies cut through.  You all would have really liked her and been charmed by her, she had these gorgeous bright blue eyes that glinted with mischeviousness.

I'll write more about her later when I'm not so emotional, I miss my little girl so much and desperately wish she were here to blow out the candles on her cake. I miss you sweet Roo Roo and enjoy your birthday in your Saviour's arms!!!! ((((huggles)))))