Friday, December 26, 2008

My Tattoos

Had a friend asking to see my tattoos and after a search of my blog I realized that only my memorial tattoos were on here. So here they are:

My first tattoo, my butterfly.

Melody chose this little ladybug when she was 5 and that is her printing at that age. I just when the letters aren't perfect.

This is Roo's memorial tattoo that I got on her birthday last year. I miss you Rooboo.

And this is the one I got for her 1st death anniversary.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

I Want My Baby Girl

It's getting closer to Christmas and the reality is really starting to kick in that my baby girl is missing yet another Christmas with us. It hurts so bad to be getting the presents ready and there is nothing for her to unwrap on Christmas morning. I just want my baby girl back so badly. She would be 3 1/2 this year and I wonder what she would have liked. What would she be interested in? What would she have wanted to get her brother and sister? Would she be talking by now and telling me how happy she was with her presents?

I miss you sweet Ruby and wish you were here so badly. xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Monday, December 8, 2008

Dearest Mommy Poem

I wrote this poem tonight and wanted to share it with you. It's our 2nd Christmas without sweet Ruby and I miss her terribly. If you want to see the wording better, just click on the image and that will make it bigger. Thank you so much for all of your prayers my friends, we need them, it's a struggle everyday just to get out of bed and function. I feel like I am "going through the motions" once again.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Sucky Grief Night and Start To My Day.....

that's all I have to say... bleh, sucky grief day!! =(

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Our Christmas Tree

Yeah!! It's finally December and time to put up the Christmas tree. I'm enjoying Christmas this year. Last year it was going through the motions so that the kids had a good one. I really didn't want to do it at all last year and just wanted to stay in bed. Last year was our first without Ruby and it was just so hard to get through it. But somehow we did.

Our tree is toddler proofed this year. All the ornaments are at the top of the tree!! LOL So our tree looks kinda funny. We have decided to not put an angel on this year b/c our angel is not with us but with her Saviour instead.

So, here is the Christmas tree in all it's glory!!

A Successful Molt

Whoooo Hoooo!!! My biggest crab Rico had a successful molt. I'm so excited for him. He was down for 4 weeks, and made a brief appearance last night for some food and water and now he's back under ground chilling. He has lots of new hair all over his body and has nice sharp, pointy little ends on his legs.

Rico is the hermit crab I've been able to bond with the most. He doesn't shy away when I go to the tank, he'll go to where I am and tap on the glass. He loves to be held and I can handfeed him all kinds of food. His favourite is to have yogurt off of a chopstick and then try to steal the chopstick from me with his big pincher, he has a REALLY strong grip!!

So, I'm super stoked that he had a successful molt and I can't wait for him to fully get his energy back so that we can go back to bonding hehe

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Our 2008 Christmas Ornaments!!

We got the kids their 2008 Christmas ornaments. It's a tradition we do every year and I just love doing it. We got Melody and Aizen's at the Markham Craft Show and I think that they are just so darn cute.

I was looking for angel ornaments online and came across this great place on etsy and ordered my Ruby angel ornament. I HIGHLY recommend them, wonderful ladies and they made it perfect by adding her name to it.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Melody And The Korker Bow

So here is the picture of Melody in her korker bow, doesn't she look adorable???!!!

Sunday, November 9, 2008

My First Korker Bow!!!!

Melody and Aizen are getting their Christmas pictures taken tomorrow and I wanted to make a special bow for Melody's hair. So, I've been looking at tutorials online as to how to make them. Well here is her Christmas one!!!

It has a green ribbon with a christmas tree, one that looks like candy cane colours, a red with white polka dots and one that has the words Merry Christmas in different colours.

It was a fun process of rolling the ribbon onto a dowel, baking it to set the curls, cutting to size, heat sealing the ends, arranging and adding it to a clippie.

I'll take some action pics tomorrow and I'm just so proud of making this all by myself!!

Missing Sweet Ruby

I definately find that late at night are the times when I really miss Ruby the most. I think a lot of that has to do with no matter what time I would put her to bed, she would always wake up at 3am to jump in her crib, then she would want a bottle. I miss those times so much. I miss snuggling with her as she had a bottle, holding her in my arms and most of the time she would fall asleep between Daniel and I. She was a beautiful sleeper. Such contendness in her face, she would often face me and snuggle right up with me. Her hand would be on my chest, right where my tattoo of her hand is.

I remember in the last few weeks when she was alive that I would go in to find her in the morning and she would be missing, I knew Exactly where she was. I'd go into her room and she would snuggled up with her sister. I wish to this day that I had a picture of the two of them snuggled up. I often wonder if she knew that she was going to die soon and just wanted to snuggle with her sister. I'll never know those answers until I see her again. I wish that that time would come soon but know it won't happen anytime soon, there is just so much for me to do while I am still alive.

I'm going to go get some sleep, big day ahead of us. Daniel, Melody, her friend Faith and I are going to see Judy and David at the theatre. It's going to be so much fun!!

Friday, November 7, 2008

How Is Your Christmas Coming Along?

There are only 47 days until Christmas, can you believe it? How are things going for you? I've gotten about 60 percent of my presents made and although I am thinking we will be doing a mostly homemade Christmas, there are a few things that the kids want that we are thinking of getting them. There are also a few wahm things that I want... those count as homemade right?? =P

On my cmf boards there is a great thread about Christmas and really keeping the focus on our Saviour and not so much on the hoarding of presents. One that I particularly like and think we will start adapting is this:

Something they want
Something they need
Something to wear
Something to read

So often we get so out of focus and buy our kids love when really they just want our attention. Remember back when you were a child and you were so excited to get all those presents and a few weeks later the novelty wore off, and you just wanted to hang out with your mama and colour? I remember those times and I think that by adapting a new theme for the coming years will be really helpful for us. I really want my children to enjoy the presents they receive and time with us. I think I am going to make a little coupon book for them with special things to do with Daniel and I that they don't normally get to do.

So, let me know how things are going for you. I'll be posting some pictures soon of presents I have gotten done but not who they are for. If you have something special you have made and would love to show it off but don't want your special others to see, I'd love to do a post of what it is. Just let me know!

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

My Boys

Had a super rough grieving day yesterday and Daniel came home early to help me with the kids and to make it through the rest of the day. He came home in just enough time to get Melody from school, wanted to take Aizen with him to give me a break. So, I slung him!! I love that he doesn't care about my super girly pink and floral sling. Aizen was so happy and coo'ing the entire time that I was putting him on daddy's back. I just love my boys.

Monday, November 3, 2008

It's Definately Been A Manic Monday

This weekend has been hard on me. It's another occasion where I am reminded that my precious Ruby is not with us. Another reminder that she is not here and will never be here, that I am left here for the rest of my life to grieve and ache to hold her in my arms once more. I've had a really rough day and Daniel came home early to help me with the children and around the house, he made dinner and he's such a great guy!! Thanks sweetie.

I have a cold sore the size of Utah. It hurts so badly and sleeping is proving to be challenging b/c whenever I move I hit it and it hurts. It's at its worse point right now and I can feel the tingles and my heartbeat through it. So, I just need to be patient and let it run its course. I've been dealing with them for over 20 years now, so I'm just used to it. Thank you to whatever aunt I have that kissed me when I was a child and gave me this stinky virus!!! hehe can you sense my sarcasm??

Aizen decided today that he was going to pull stuff off of the table. He just happened to get the placemat with the mugfuls of watered down paint on it!! SOOOO all over our carpet was a nice mess of red and pink paint. It took us over 3 hours to clean it up completely and thankfully my inlaws have a steam cleaner that they let us borrow. If it wasn't for that I'd still be over there getting paint out of the carpet.

My mom was up for Halloween and we had a lot of fun. Daniel and I took the kids out trick or treating while my mom stayed at our house and handed out the goodies. To make things easy in our house, we all share the loot of chocolate. Melody cannot have candy b/c of her sensitivities to dyes, so those went home with my mom. Mommy and daddy need some of the loot as payment for taking the kids out... yeah... yeah... that's it. =P Daniel is completely done his stash, can you believe it?? Well if you knew him it would be no surprise to you that his one weakness is chocolate. He doesn't care for other sweets but chocolate and chips!! oh yes!!

We took my mom to the Pickering Flea Market and she got Melody a few new webkinz and really enjoyed the flea market. We got 4 new hermit crabs and they are adjusting well. I will take pictures another day as I want them to have some time to acclimate to their new surroundings. They are named Chumba, Wumba, Bubbaloo and Ruby Too.... the last 2 Melody wanted to name to replace the ones who died. She is such a sweetie. Atm Rico (the alpha crab) is having a bath in the salt water dish and it's one of the funniest things I have ever seen. He is sitting in the middle of the dish and will not move, moving his little legs and stuff... way too funny.

So that was our weekend and sucky Monday. I'll blog more on another day when I feel up to it.

Ruby Had A Bad Molt =(

Our little hermit crab Ruby had a bad molt last week. She came up after being hidden for 3 weeks. She was very lethargic, which is normal and went shell-less, I tried to get her into her shell but she wouldn't go. I decided to leave her overnight. I was looking at her the next day and noticed she was missing one of her legs. She was not responsive at all, so I left her alone again. She started to get that death smell and we are sad that she did not make it through her molt. Here are some pictures of her.

In the first one it was her first try of apple, she LOVED it, she sat there for over an hour picking away at it. The others are just so cute of her.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Halloween 2008

Another Halloween has come and gone. It was a good one but hard at the same time. I'm really missing Ruby and wonder what little costume we would have gotten her this year. What would she have been? Would she have her own opinion on it or would we have to choose one for her?

I spent the morning in Melody's classroom at their party. Her picture is a little blurry but she was a princess. I had a lot of fun and her classmates looked so cute!

Here is Aizen's little turtle suit. SO stinkin' cute!!!!

And here are the decorations in the front of the house:

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

In Loving Memory Of Bubba =(

I am so sad to say that one our crabs Bubba has died. We thought he was molting but he had that really stinky smell that meant only one thing. Melody is handling it well, she really adores her hermie crabs and we loved having him as a pet. So, here are some pictures of Bubba!!

Ordering Melody's School Photos

Got the proofs in for Melody's grade 2 pictures and they turned out great!! I decided to go with the bottom right pose, I just love the innocence in her eyes and her pretty smile. I can't wait to get them and make Melody a new frame for this year to put up on her school year wall.

So here is my little sweetie and just below is the picture I chose.

Monday, October 27, 2008

It's Just Another Manic Monday!!!

I thought it would be fun to start a weekly post where I can babble about the chaoticness that is my life. I'm going to try to do 1-2 of these per week.

Life has been chaotic this past week for our family. The kids and I are getting over a cold, Daniel seemed to miss out on it..... lucky him. On Thursday, Melody was in extreme pain and we took her into the walk in clinic where our doctor is and the poor little thing has a UTI. She's on antibiotics and it's really taking a toll on her body. She's tired, cranky, and somewhat cooperative most of the time.

I've been grieving a lot these past few weeks. I feel like I am stuck in a rut and am having a hard time keeping motivated to do things. I see my therapist this week so it will be good to get that little bit of extra support.

Halloween is this week and I have yet to get the decorations out. Atleast the kids have outfits and the chips are bought for handing out. It will be nice b/c my mom is coming up for Halloween this year and I'm looking forward to having her here. She is so wonderful with the children and it gives me a much needed break.

Can't think of much else to blog about... oh other than 2 of my crabs are definately molting (Ruby and Bubba are both in isolation tanks). Lola has been hiding for a few days now, so not sure if she is molting or not. The other two are happy little crabbies.

Have a great day everyone.

Sunday, October 5, 2008

More Additions To Our Home

So we have a few more crabs that have been added to our house. Our crabitat is now called The Copacabana from the Barry Manilow song. Melody can't say that so she calls it the cocoa banana !!! LOL she's hilarious.

So the one on the bottom is Rico (from the song) and Monty is sitting on top of his shell (we love monty python humour!!)

This is Lola (from the song) and she is a purple pincher, the others are ecuadorian crabs b/c they have brown pinchers, she has a purple one.

We have a cork tree for them to climb on and here a couple pictures of them all hanging onto it.

Decided I would take some video of all of them on the wood. They're just neat and funny little creatures!

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Welcome To Ruby and Bubba!!

We have two new additions to our home!!

Introducting Ruby and Bubba.... our new hermit crabs!!!!

This is the new home of Ruby and Bubba. They have 4 shells, a coconut hut, a water dish and a food dish atm. We forgot a couple things at our friends house and they will be dropped off on Tuesday.

This is Ruby. Melody wanted a small one to call Ruby. She's had a little piece of apple and a trip to the coconut hut.

This is Bubba, on the way home, he decided to bury himself. Our friends gave us the 10 gallon tank and the sand. This is where he put himself and about 4 hours after being home he has come out and is walking around.

More video of Ruby in the Coconut Hut.

We are looking forward to getting to know our little hermit crabs. I like things that are in cages and easy to care for... kinda like our bettas!!

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

My Baby's Sick =(

Yesterday Aizen had a bit of a runny nose and trouble falling asleep. Gave him some tylenol to help him sleep and he woke up all stuffed up today. =( He is in a good mood but stuffed up and doesn't want to eat. He'll only take milk from a medicine dropper that holds 3mL (sigh) at a time.

I'm trying so hard to not let my anxiety take over. I'm trying to convince myself that he just has a cold and is not going to die like Ruby did. He'll be okay and I just need to get through this cold with him. I knew that he would need to get sick eventually but I have been dreading the day that it would happen. Thankfully we have gotten to 15 1/2 months with no sickness, poor Roo was sick before she was a month old. =(

Please pray if you read this that I will make it through this first cold with him. I'm scared and don't want to bury another child. I can't handle that.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Happy Birthday Honey


It's Daniel's birthday!!!!

Send him some love and wishes on his 34th birthday!!

Love you sweetie,


Whoooo Hooooo

One of the mama's on my boards is getting baptized on Sunday!!!!! I am so thrilled for her that she is making this commitment. I wanted to do something special for her, so I found this great poem online and made her this page. When printed it would be an 8x10 or anything in those measurements. She hasn't seen it yet, but I sure hope she likes it. Keep her in your prayers as she is feeling some nervousness about it. I think it will turn into excitement for her!!

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Blog Makeovers

I have givens my blogs some makeovers. They were really boring to me so I found a couple sites with some cute blog templates. I still need to fix the sidebars on this one because there is some stuff missing, but I'll get to it eventually.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Precious Ruby's Burial Scrapbook Pages

I finally got the courage up to scrapbook Ruby's burial. I've been doing everything else. Even finished up the rest of August and by passed her pictures. But I wanted to get it done.

At the very bottom there is a video of Melody and I putting the Muskoka sand in with Roo's urn. Please continue to pray for our family. We are going through so much.