Saturday, February 21, 2009

Went To Mums And Cubs

Huge praise for me. I went to the Mums and Cubs group at our church on Friday for the first time with Aizen. This is a really big step for me in my recovery. Since having my breakdown I have developed a few anxieties, one of them being a social anxiety. I know now that I have always been an introvert, you would have never know had you known me, but I was. I was the life of the party, the one to make everyone feel welcome, the out going and fun loving person. I had put that mask on to truly hide the small child inside who was craving the attention of someone, anyone who would give me positive attention.

I've always felt very inadequate and I'm dealing with things that my dad said to me when I was younger about not fitting in or never being able to have normal relationships because I wasn't worth it. I have always felt like less of a mom when around other moms who had it together. I have come to the realization that there is no mom who has it all together and the ones who seem to are the ones hiding the most.

So, I went to the Mums and Cubs group and I enjoyed myself. I saw a few familiar faces and met some new people. I had so much anxiety the days before it and am glad that I "forced" myself to go. I almost didn't at the last minute but I know it was a spiritual attack. I'm looking forward to going back next Friday and forming some new friendships. I really do want to be social and for Aizen to have little buddies his age. I need the fellowship of moms who can support one another and not judge, compare or belittle anyone because of their life circumstances.

Huge step in my recovery and a very positive one!!


Shauna said...

This is WONDERFUL! I am sooo happy for to figure out how I can go with you guys next time!!!!