Aizen's New Hat!!

I was making a hat earlier this week and asked Daniel if I could see if it fit his head. I have a small head and needed a model LOL. He liked the hat I was making and asked if he could have it. So, then I thought it would be cute to make Aizen a matching one.

I still need to get a picture of the two of them wearing their hat, but here is Aizen in his.

Merry Christmas Sweet Roo!!

It's our first Christmas without our sweet Ruby. It's been a bittersweet yet joyful morning. It was hard to get out of bed and open the presents but we did for the kids. We bought a present for each of the kids from Ruby and they both love our choices.

I wish more than anything that Ruby were here, running around excited with a present or wrapping paper in her hand. She used to love the bows on the presents and I remember last year being at my inlaws waiting on my brother in law to get there. Ruby was crouched down looking under the tree, totally in awe of the presents, and picking the bows off of the presents. She had quite the little collection by the end of it.

I would give anything to have more memories like that of her. She was such a curious little girl and it will be hard going over to my inlaws this afternoon, knowing she won't be there to run around with the wrapping paper like last year. I know it will be a good time but how I wish she could be with us. I love you precious Roo Roo. ((((hugs and kissies)))) ~~ mommy

Aizen Sporting Mommy's Hat

I've been making preemie hats for the last few years and this last year I have been playing around with a new pattern. I've been making some hats for preemies, newborns and cancer patients at Sick Kids. I finished this one up today and decided to try it on Aizen. He's so stinking cute. So, thought I would show off one of my hats.

I need to get some more "boyish" colours and make him a few hats to sport around the house and while shopping as I carry him in the meitai.

Elf Yourself

On one of my mommy boards, there was a link to this site. WAY TOO FUNNY!!!!

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1485188732

You just upload your pictures and fiddle with the face til you have it how you want... and well, just go check it out.

Parent Card

We are giving presents in Ruby's memory to some children at Sick Kids. I wanted to put in the card a little note for the parents. And here it is.

Nursing Is A Work Of Heart

This is our first Christmas without Ruby. The money we would have spent on her presents were spent on presents for some children at Sick Kids. We'll be going down next week to meet with Darcy (the bereavement co-ordinator) there and giving her the gifts and also some hats that I have crocheted.

Today it has been 10 months since Ruby died, I made her a page earlier before my therapy session. Tonight I got thinking of our time at Sick Kids and have been wanting to do something special for the nurses in the CCU (critical care unit). The night before she died, we pretty much knew that she would not pass the brain stem tests that were to be repeated in the morning. The nurses that we had treated our baby with such love and care, even though.

One moment in particular comes to mind. I was lying in bed with her and the nurse was checking on Roo. She found that Ruby's mouth was dry and she got a little swab and some water and wet the inside of her mouth. It touched me so much that even though we knew, they still treated her as if she were going to make it. Would moistening her mouth have helped her? Probably not, but the caliber of staff at Sick Kids is AMAZING!!!

So I will be getting a mat and doing this scrapbook page to give to them next Wednesday when we go down there. I thought I would share it with you. Just click on it to see the details and read the message.

Please leave a comment if you would. I enjoy reading your comments on here and they really do brighten up my day.

Muskoka Roo Roo Mini Mosaic

I just finished up another mini mosaic project today. It is based off of the picture below of Roo up in Muskoka and her first time loving the sand. I didn't take hourly progression shots like last time, but this one took around 55 hours to do.

Can't wait to get it matted, framed and hung on the wall.

No Longer Scrapbook Page

This is a picture of Roo blowing me kisses under the table after finishing off some cheerios.

No Longer

No Longer ~ December 6, 2007

Ruby red lips,
Eyes sparkling blue.
Sweet chubby cheeks,
No longer have you.

Innocent look,
Arms open wide.
Open lip kisses,
No longer by my side.

Look of curiosity,
Into everything.
Humming instead of words,
No longer will you sing.

Wobbily fast walk,
Always running away.
Chasing after you,
No longer will you stay.

Eating cheerios,
Hiding under table.
Blowing mommy kisses,
No longer are you able.

Joyous laughter,
Taking off your bib.
Waking at 3 am,
No longer jumping in your crib.

Snuggles on the couch,
Falling asleep in the car.
Stealing baby kissies,
No longer pointing at the stars.

Licking the windows,
Blanket peek a boo.
My heart forever aches,
No longer have I you.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I love you sweet Ruby and wish so badly to have you back in my arms. To smell your hair one more time, to look in your eyes, to touch your cheek and give you kissies.

Eat Mor Chikin!!

So ... I got bored today and was looking through my files and found some cow pictures.

I LOVE cows, one of my favourite things to collect etc. So, I made a video.

Click on this link ---> LINK to see it.

The song is by a group called Arrogant Worms, they're canadian and absolutely Hilarious!!!!

Precious Angel PM

I've had my eye on this Precious Moment for a few months now and it's now added to our collection. I didn't know the meaning behind it as it is a Limited Edition and wasn't on the PM website. It represents an angel holding the Saviour on His first night here on earth.

For me, it reminds me that when Ruby can't sit in her Saviour's lap, there is always an angel that will hold her and make her feel safe until I can see her again. It brings me great comfort knowing that she is being taken care of and she is where I yearn and strive to be.

Playing In The Flowers

With the scrapbooks I have been ordering, they come with 8x8 white paper. I have given these to Melody to make special pictures for Ruby to put in a scrapbook. Melody is also making a scrapbook of her memories of Ruby as part of her recovery. I want her to have a special place for her memories of her sister. I know that I don't remember much about when I was 5 years old, and I want to preserve as many of those memories that she has now.

This is a picture she made this morning for Ruby. It's of Ruby in Heaven. She is picking flowers in a garden. This is often how I think of Ruby, she was always picking grass and getting into flowers that she shouldn't have been in.

So, I asked Melody if I could share her picture, so here it is. This is how Melody sees her little sister.

Mommy's Love Goes With You PM

This was a limited edition PM and I am so happy and honoured to have it in my collection, it's not offered anymore. I saw it posted on an infant loss forum I post on. I tried to find it at our local store, but could only order it online, so ... we did LOL

I remember with tears having Ruby in my arms as they took her off of life support. We had 12 wonderful hours with her while waiting on the organ donation team to do their stuff. It was early on the Monday morning when I held my baby in my arms for the last time, encouraging her to go home to Jesus. Telling her how much I loved her and would miss her. Telling her everything I never got to say to her, apologizing for everything I had ever done wrong. I shed many tears that night and could have held her in my arms forever if they would have let me.

It was absolutely the hardest decision I have ever had to make in my life. No parent should ever have to watch as they take the tube off that is keeping your most precious thing alive. Part of me died that night with her, it's such an intense thing to have to do. You know you only have one option, there was no way she could have lived, she was brain dead ... yet ... you don't want to make that decsion, you feel like a failure, you feel like any moment she will wake up and beam a smile at you despite the doctor's testing and there being no signs of neurological function. How do you give consent and have your baby die in your arms.

I was the first one to hold her and I will always be the last one. I miss her so very much.

The Same Today, Yesterday and Forever PM

This is one of my FAVOURITE figurines that I have in my collection. It reminds me so much of sweet Roo, who she was and who she is right now.

She LOVED the beach and sand up in Muskoka when she was 1 years old. I have such fond memories of her picking up the sand, and her trying to get it off her hand. She liked sitting in the waters edge as it gently cascaded on her. I remember holding her hand as we walked the waters edge together, her looking up at me in amazement. She pointed out a little school of minnows and went ooooooo, then she clapped in excitement.

She is with our Saviour now and the little girl reminds me that that is who Ruby is now, at Jesus' feet compeletely happy and secure waiting for me.

Bless You PM

This was the very first PM I bought in Roo's rememberence. If she could find a box of kleenex around, she would be sitting on the floor pulling it out one piece of at a time.

Around Christmas time she had learned how to take the little cardboard center out and get into a fresh box of kleenex .... boy was that a mess. LOL

Kind Hearts Send Showers Of Love

This is one of our more recent ones that we have purchased in memory of Roo. It has 2 meanings for me.

1. I know that she was a very happy child when we were blessed to have her in our family. I know if she could tell you she would say that she was showered with love.

2. When I am feeling lonely, I know that she is sending love down to me in a shower of hearts, hugs and kisses.

The Girls Flower Blossom PM

The girls both have a PM with their birth month on it. They are my little princesses and these are appropriate for them. The first one is April ~ Ruby's birth month and the second one is May ~ Melody's birth month.

You Are Due For A Lifetime Of Happiness PM

This is the figurine that Melody got me for Mother's Day this year. It's pretty much me. I was pregnant with Aizen at the time and I'm always crocheting. My munchkin is pretty cute!!

You Are The Sunshine Of My Life PM

I thought I'd post and update on the Precious Moments figurines I have and why they are meaningful to me.

Ruby's favourite song was You Are My Sunshine. When I saw this figurine I knew it had to be added to our collection.

Newest Precious Moments Addition

Ruby was always the kind of child who loved to feed herself. Even from an early age she was fighting us to hold her own bottle or grabbing the spoon. We always had to have 3 or 4 spoons handy ... 2 for each of her hands, and atleast one for feeding her with.

I was really missing her yesterday and wanted to get another PM to add to my collection. In her memory hutch, I have a collection of PM's that remind me of her. I'll do another post soon with all the ones I have so far. So, this is the one we got and it reminds me of so many times when I would need to get the washcloth out to clean her ... and sometimes it was upstairs for a bath.

Happy Turkey Day!!!

Just wanted to wish all my American friends a

HAPPY TURKEY DAY!!!!!

I hope you all have a great day and can't wait to hear about all the yummy fixin's y'all had!!

Move Over Rubbermaid Bin .....

I posted earlier about my son having a talk with a rubbermaid bin... well move over... it's been replaced....

I was doing some scrapbooking at the computer and Aizen was on his playmat. He was making quite the fuss, I thought he had flipped on his tummy again and couldn't get his hands out. This is how I found him... reaching out trying to get an empty ziploc box. So, I decided to give it to him after snapping a few pictures... of course!!!! .... and he was the happiest little baby for about half an hour.

IT'S FINISHED!!!!

It's FINALLY finished!! I'm so excited that my Roo Roo project is done. I can't wait to get it matted and framed!! It took 57 hours total to make this beautiful picture of my sweet baby girl.

Roo Roo's 7th Plate Finished

Finished up plate 7, only 2 more to go!!

Halloween 2007

Another Halloween has come and gone. I spent most of the day wondering what Ruby would have been if she were still here with us. I made her a scrapbook page about my feelings.

Aizen was a cow. We had a hard time finding a pirate outift small enough for a 4 month old, so since I ADORE!!!!! cows, we saw this one and had to get it for him.




Melody wanted to be Snow White and went trick or treating with one of her classmates.

6th Plate Mini Mosaic Finished

Here is the latest in my crafting adventure.

His New Best Friend

I put Aizen down to play and thought of something cute he was doing last night that I wanted to blog about. He's got one of those play mats that has toys suspending above him. He was under there last night playing when we heard him "talking" to his toys. Turned around and he had wiggled his way over to a rubbermaid tub and was talking to it, getting very excited and squealing.

Kids are just too funny.

That reminded me of when Ruby would talk to the laundry hamper. We have one that has disney princesses on it and she would spend so much time sitting in front of it talking with the princesses. LOL

Roo Roo Mini Mosaic ~ Another Update

Finished up the 5th plate and gosh ... wow... it's my Roo Roo!! I am so happy that I bought this kit and am able to have my favourite picture of her hanging up on my wall soon.

Mini Mosaic Update

I have been super busy the past week getting ready for Melody's Princess Tea Party that I forgot to update my Roo Roo project. I've started plate 5 and it has mixed blessings, it's of her face, so it is taking me a while as I am thinking of holding her in my arms as she fell asleep so many times.

So, here is the update on how it is looking.

Praise You In This Storm

I'm on my way to being able to worship once again. For the longest time I was very angry and upset that Abba would take my Roo from me and had a very hard time worshipping. I was listening to KLove (christian online radio station) for the first time and this is the song that came on moments after I tuned in.

The lyrics are so true with what I am going through in my walk right now.

The one lyric that really hits home with me is:

"And though my heart is torn
I will praise you in this storm."

Thank you Lord for giving this song to Casting Crowns to help others like me know that no matter what storm I am going through that I can still praise you and that you whisper "I'm with you." Praise you Abba, my only need and comforter, give my precious Roo an extra snuggle tonight.

This is a scrapbook page I made for my recovery book.

Roo Roo Mini Mosaic Craft Project

I've updated this on the 23rd of October and redid the pictures to show progress.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As my birthday present to myself, I bought myself this really cool mini mosaic kit from Pixel Hobby. It is based on the photo below of Ruby. I'm one the 1st plate of 9 to get done and thought I would document my progress every hour so that I know how long it will take to get it done. Check back for updates of progress.

Pixel Hobby Website

How To Do It

Examples On Their Website



(((((miss you sweet Roo Roo)))))

New Room Signs

It has come to that time where Aizen is getting too big for the bassinet and needs to go into the crib. It is a bitter sweet time for us because Melody and Ruby were supposed to be sharing a room as Aizen would be moving into Ruby's old room.

We've kept Ruby's room and her door sign the way it has been for the most part. So, this week I am having to take out all of her things and put them in her angel chest. Her chest will be going where Aizen's bassinet is (by her memorial quilt). I'm moving around things in the room because I can't go in there without thinking of her the way the furniture is at the moment.

I made a sign for Aizen's door and decided to make a new one for Melody too. We have these up on the front of their doors. So, thought I would share what I made for them.

Can You Watch Your Brother ....

So I ask Melody if she can watch her little brother for a few moments so I can get the towels out of the dryer.

She was watching tv and he was on the floor in front of her. I ask her to watch him quite often when I need to check on something, just to let me know if something happens and I need to come back right away.

Well I come back and this is how I find the two of them. Melody is so protective of him and it's simply adorable how close they are already.

8 Months Since Saying Goodbye

It has been 8 painful months since our precious Ruby died. Everyday is still really hard for us and I in all honesty I have no idea when it will get better. It's still a struggle to get out of bed in the morning and simply function. I miss my Roo so very much.

I've been doing some scrapbooking today and made this letter for Roo. If you wish to read it, you'll need to click on it.

Special Ruby Scrapbook Page

This is a very special page that I am sharing with you. I was shopping at a digital store and sent a picture of one of the pages I did to them. I shared a bit of Ruby's story with her and I check back a bit later and there is this Beautiful kit there in memory of Ruby.

This is the first page I have made from Tori's kit, you can visit her Digital Scrapbook Store HERE. Tori, thank you once again for this gorgeous kit, it means more to me than you could ever imagine!!



I'm looking forward to making more pages with this great little kit!!

Been Busy Scrapbooking Again

And I have been busy with more scrapbooking of the kids. Just doing some random ones at the moment, I really should get more organized. LOL Enjoy!!